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No. 12: Give your obstacles credit.
You know those No Fear T-shirts that were out.
I don't know maybe somewhere continue to go.
No Fear? Anybody remember those, or is it just me?
I saw them everywhere. I don't get 'em, and I never did.
I mean, hell, I try to scare myself at least once a day.
I mean I get butterflies every morning before I go to work.
I was nervous before I got here to speak tonight. I think fear is a good thing.
Why? Because it increases our need to overcome that fear.
Say your obstacle is fear of rejection.
You wanna ask her out. You wanna ask him out. But you fear that she may say no.
You want to ask your boss for that promotion, but you're scared he's gonna think you're overstepping your bounds.
Well, instead of denying those fears, declare them; say the fear out loud; admit them; give them the credit they deserve.
Don't get all macho and act like they're no big deal,
and don't get paralyzed by denying that they exist and therefore abandoning your need to overcome them.
I mean, I'd even subscribe to the belief that we're all destined to have to do the thing we fear the most anyway, at some point.
So, you give your obstacles credit, and you will, one, find the courage to overcome them;
or you will, two, see more clearly that they are not really worth prevailing over.
第十二点:要承认挫折的价值。
你们知道那些印有“无畏”的T恤衫吗?已经过时了。
我不知道是不是有些地方还在流行。
那种“无畏”?大家都记得,还是只有我记得?
我曾见过人们到处都在穿。我不穿,我从不穿。
我是说,见鬼,我每天都要至少吓唬自己一次。
我是说每天早晨去工作之前,我都感到忐忑不安。
在今晚来这里演讲之前我也紧张。我认为恐惧是个好东西。
为什么呢?因为恐惧增加了我们克服恐惧的需要。
承认吧,你们的障碍就是害怕被拒绝。
你想约她出去。你想约他出去。但你担心她可能拒绝。
你想要上司给你升职,但你害怕他会觉得你越界了。
不要否认这些恐惧,相反,宣布出来,大声地把恐惧说出来,承认它们,承认它们的价值。
不要总是扮演男子汉,就仿佛那些恐惧无足轻重一样,
也不要因为拒绝恐惧的存在而变得麻木,以至因此放弃克服恐惧的需要。
我是说,我甚至相信,在某个时候,我们都注定要做我们最害怕的事情。
所以要承认挫折的价值,第一,你会找到克服它们的勇气;
或者第二,你会更加清晰地看到,它们其实不堪一击。
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