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Don't underestimate the power of words.
Saying to Thordis that I raped her changed my accord with myself, as well as with her.
But most importantly, the blame transferred from Thordis to me.
Far too often, the responsibility is attributed to female survivors of sexual violence, and not to the males who enact it.
Far too often, the denial and running leaves all parties at a great distance from the truth.
There's definitely a public conversation happening now, and like a lot of people,
we're heartened that there's less retreating from this difficult but important discussion.
I feel a real responsibility to add our voices to it.
What we did is not a formula that we're prescribing for others.
Nobody has the right to tell anyone else how to handle their deepest pain or their greatest error.
Breaking your silence is never easy, and depending on where you are in the world,
it can even be deadly to speak out about rape.
I realize that even the most traumatic event of my life is still a testament to my privilege,
because I can talk about it without getting ostracized, or even killed.
But with that privilege of having a voice comes the responsibility of using it.
不要低估了语言的力量。
向Thordis承认是我侵犯了她,改变了我的自我认知,也改变了我对她的认知。
但最重要的,责备从Thordis转向了我。
常见的是,性暴力中的责任被归咎于女性幸存者,而非作出性暴力行为的男性。
常见的是,拒绝和逃避让各方离真相越来越远。
目前已经有更多关于此的公众讨论,像很多人一样,
由于大家变得更少逃避这一艰难却重要的讨论,我们因此得到鼓励。
我感到有责任加入我们的声音。
我们所做的不是从他人学来的公式。
没有人有权利告诉任何其他人如何处理内心深处的痛苦,或者是犯过的最大的错误。
打破沉默总是不容易的,它取决于你在这个世界所处的地方,
在一些地方可能公开谈及强奸甚至会带来致命的后果。
我意识到,即使是我生命中最具创伤性的事件,仍然是我拥有特权的证明,
因为我能够谈论它,而不会被排斥,更不会被杀害。
但是虽然我拥有这项发声的特权,随之而来的是还有使用它的责任。
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