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I read somewhere that you should try and be the person that you needed when you were younger.
And back when I was a teenager, I would have needed to know that the shame wasn't mine,
that there's hope after rape, that you can even find happiness, like I share with my husband today.
Which is why I started writing feverishly upon my return from Cape Town, resulting in a book co-authored by Tom,
that we hope can be of use to people from both ends of the perpetrator-survivor scale.
If nothing else, it's a story that we would've needed to hear when we were younger.
Given the nature of our story, I know the words that inevitably accompany it -- victim, rapist
and labels are a way to organize concepts, but they can also be dehumanizing in their connotations.
Once someone's been deemed a victim, it's that much easier to file them away as someone damaged, dishonored, less than.
And likewise, once someone has been branded a rapist, it's that much easier to call him a monster -- inhuman.
But how will we understand what it is in human societies that produces violence if we refuse to recognize the humanity of those who commit it?
And how -- And how can we empower survivors if we're making them feel less than?
我在某处读到,你应当尝试并成为你年轻的时候需要的那个人。
当我年少时,我本应需要知道我无需感到羞耻,
被强奸之后仍有希望,你甚至能够找到幸福,像我同我丈夫分享的一样。
因此,从开普敦一回来,我开始兴奋地写作,最终形成一本和Tom共同完成的书,
我们希望这本书无论对犯罪者还是幸存者都有帮助。
至少,这也是一个在我们年少时需要去了解的故事。
考虑到这个故事的性质,我知道有一些词语将不可避免地伴随它--受害人,强奸犯,
标签是组织概念的一种方法,但他们也可能因其内涵被非人性化。
一旦某人被认定为一个受害人,他们就更加容易被归类为被伤害、遭受羞辱、低人一等的。
同样,一旦某人被打上强奸犯的烙印,就更加容易称其为怪物--非人类。
但是,如果我们拒绝去认识犯罪一方的人性之处,我们如何能够理解人类社会中究竟是什么在制造暴力?
并且,如果我们总是让幸存者觉得自己低人一等,我们又如何给予他们力量呢?
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