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Okay, now that sounds a little flip, but make no mistake, the stakes are very high.
When a lot has been pushed to your 30s, there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career,
pick a city, partner up, and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.
Many of these things are incompatible, and as research is just starting to show,
simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.
The post-millennial midlife crisis isn't buying a red sports car.
It's realizing you can't have that career you now want.
It's realizing you can't have that child you now want, or you can't give your child a sibling.
Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves,
and at me, sitting across the room, and say about their 20s, "What was I doing? What was I thinking?"
I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.
Here's a story about how that can go. It's a story about a woman named Emma.
At 25, Emma came to my office because she was, in her words, having an identity crisis.
She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment,
but she hadn't decided yet, so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables instead.
Because it was cheaper, she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition.
好吧,刚才那听起来可能有一点轻浮,但是别搞错,在这里筹码非常高。
当很多事情被推到三十几岁再做时,在你的三十岁这个阶段就有在极短的时间内开始一个职业,
挑选一个城市,找到一个伴侣并且生几个孩子的巨大压力。
这些事情中有很多是不兼容的,而且就如研究开始表明,
在三十几岁这个阶段同时完成这么多事的压力以及难度实在是太大了。
上个千年之后的中年危机不在于能否买一辆红色的敞篷车。
是在于发现自己的职业不是自己想要的。
是在于发现你无法生你想要的孩子,或者无法给自己的孩子一个同胞。
有太多太多的三十几岁的人和四十几岁的人先看看自己,
然后看看坐在房间另一边的我,然后讨论他们的二十几岁这个时间段。“我当时在做什么?我当时在想什么?”
我想改变二十几岁的人的所做与所思。
我来讲一个关于如何这么做的故事。这是一个关于一位叫Emma的女性的故事。
25岁时,Emma来到我的办公室因为她,用她的话来讲,正在经历一个身份危机。
她说她认为她想从事艺术或者娱乐,
但她还没决定,所以前几年她花在做服务员上了。
因为比较便宜,她和她那展现脾气比志向更频繁的男朋友住在一起。
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